Thursday, April 21, 2005

Like white girls on NBA PLAYAS!

That above title can be seen and heard at the end of the trailer for the upcoming disaster flick King's Ransom. A woman proclaims that she will "stick to two men (who I think are employees) like white girls to NBA Playas!" Remember the wide eyed woman from the Police Academy movies with the painful squeaky voice? Well I thought she was the one who delivered this amazing line, but I was proven wrong. It was the woman with the annoying voice who gave confidence to all the fat kids on Boston Public.

WOMAN FROM POLIC ACADEMY
http://chappellentertainment.com/images/marion_ramsey_large.jpg
I read that she wore a fat suit for all the Police Academy Movies!

WOMAN FROM BOSTON PUBLIC
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/1060/Events/1060/wi20001213_LorettaDevine_Granitz_131513.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Devine,%20Loretta


When Boston Public first came on I watched it every week for a long time. I never really had a TV show that I watched on a regulas basis, and this was supposed to be the one. Unfortunately Boston Public's plotlines spiraled out of control so fast that there was no turning back. The teaching staff was georgeous...so georgeous that they all slept with each other and their students. I recall one episode where an obese girl who is teased constantly is urged to join the BOYS wrestiling team to gain confidence and popularity?????? She thinks about it and all the teachers decide it is a good idea...except Marla Hendricks, who is in the King's Ransom preview. So the student decides to join the wrestling team and appear in front of the whole school wearing a singlet and participating in a boys wrestling match. She being a heavyweight is the last match in the meet...so her abusers anxiously await her appearance all match long.

Her moniker was THE BLOB, which was heard continously throughout her wrestling match by the students. They sounded like a brain washed cult...BLOB....BLOB....BLOB. One jerk even managed to make a BLOB sign and hold it up at the gym while she was wrestling. Imagine doing anything in life, and someone coming in with a sign that mentions one of your biggest insecurities? You sit down at your office one day and a co-worker stands next to you with their arms raised holding a sign that says HORRIBLE BREATH. This might be the cruelest move ever captured on television next to the episode of The Fresh Prince when Will's biological father breaks a promise. His estranged father was a truck driver who promised Will he would take him on the road with him for a couple of months. He breaks the bad news to Will as he is holding his bags ready to hit the road. He give Will the could shoulder, which was devastating because he old man was never around. Will is heartbroken and turns to Uncle Phil and shouts, "WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE ME MAN!" This episode ripped my heart right out of my goddamn chest.

ANYWAY. Back to this fateful Boston Public episode. The Blob ends up winning the wrestling match by simply laying on her opponent prompting even more venom from the crowd. The students are cheering and laughing at the same time, as the ref holds her hand up in the air as the victor. SUDDENLY the Blob drops! She hits the mat with a thud, and the crowd grows silent. What happened to the Blob? One student quips with the arrival of a few chuckles. Turns out the Blob DIED! This girl actually died at the end of the episode! I couldn't believe it. The notion of the schools go-to fat girl being on the men's wrestling teams is out of control to begin with. (I know there aren't girls wrestling teams, but I feel the need to emphasize) She then is humiliated by the whole school in an extreme fashion, which ultimately leads to her death. She had a heart attack on the mat because she pushed herself to hard.
This is an example of what looked like a decent show being scared of low ratings, and getting their writers to to come up with trashy stories that will stun viewers. I understand this strategy to lure people in, but this went way way to far. If Boston Public ever comes out on DVD I will buy it just to watch Episode 173: "The Blob's Lament and Eventual Demise"

One more thing...Michael Rappaport was brought in mid second season to help boost ratings as well. That's all I have to write.

POSTER TIME!

A politcally correct WHITE DEVIL!:
http://www.impawards.com/1981/devil_and_max_devlin.html

James Bond in a Graduate Remake?:
http://www.impawards.com/1981/for_your_eyes_only_ver1.html

The Origianl concept for the Whoopi Classic "Eddie"
http://www.impawards.com/1978/coach.html

Best tag line ever:
http://www.impawards.com/1990/blind_fury.html

I'm out like the Cavaliers

4 comments:

sammmmmyg said...

My biggest problem with Boston Public (aside from the bullshit plotlines, the characters, etc) was the fact that they were located in Boston and yet there was nary a "wicked" to be found. That's right, a high school in Boston where nobody has a New England accent. That used to piss me off so much...

KC said...

Very interesting point...there was no wicked at all.

mburke7 said...

KC, i stopped watching that show when that fat black lady told another teacher "am i crazy, but i think i love him" referring to a guest appearence by mini me.

KC said...

AMAZING CALL BURKE....i totally forgot about that episode...classic television