Tuesday, December 30, 2008

All my pictures are confused

2008…get out of here. Just leave. I and everyone else are incredibly sick of you. You gave us Obama and the Phillies, but you destroyed the economy and played a game of gas prices. You offered a great summer movie season full of watchable blockbusters, but Beverly Hills Chihuahua was still a hit. Goodbye 2008…you son of a bitch.

It's time for some lists kids…here we go:

Top Movies (Short and sweet) :

Pineapple Express: James Franco was awesome, and deserves a supporting actor nod…I'm serious. Didn't make fun of 90's action trash cinema, it paid homage to it, and that's all I can ask for.

The Fall: It was made a while ago, but released here in '08. It's a dark Princess Bride fueled by lies and depression. It looks great too.

Iron Man: Post 9/11 America will continue to embrace superhero movies, and this one did it right. I honestly think Downey Jr.’s Iron Man will be as popular as Ford's Indiana Jones (Pre Crystal Skull).


Music (Short as well…):


Wolf Parade, Apologies to Queen Mary: 2 lead singers, one of them (Spencer Krug...in my opinion) is as important as the two Davids (Bowie and Byrne)…the other kind of sounds like Beck but is pretty good too. Check out the epic masterpiece 'Kissing the Beehive.’

David Byrne and Brian Eno, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today : Takes all the themes of the Talking Heads epic song 'Don't Worry About the Government' and plays them out in an I've grown up, but not given up, sort of way.

Cadence Weapon, Afterparty Babies: the kid from Canada continues to be one of rap's best writers and did the ever so popular 'dance album' thing without losing his fire.

TV On The Radio, Dear Science: One of my favorite bands of all time has yet to disappoint, even when their sound becomes more 'accessible.' I have always found a sense of hopefulness in their music, but it's 2008...remember we need this shit.

Crystal Castles, Crystal Castles: They put your Sega Genesis in a blender, threw in some hip hop and created a sound that grows on you and surprisingly put on a wild live show.

Santogold, Santogold : She is a Philly girl and is the future of music in America…if we are lucky. She also made the perfect summer album.

Peter Automatic: Local dude who remembers that hip hop is supposed to be fun with wonderfully catchy lo-fi beats.


Everything Overrated 2008:

Girl Talk: Really…I know it gets hipsters to dance and possibly smile, but is he that much of a beast.? You will be able to do this on your Mac in a couple of years.

Burn After Reading: People love the Coen Brothers, and they should, but this was fucking awful. It had great characters but nowhere to place them and Brad Pitt's shooting death was just a trick to make you think it was progressive or 'unlike most movies.' Go rent the Coen's Blood Simple and enjoy.

Recession small talk: I know we are going through a financial crisis, but stop using it as an excuse for everything. You can’t forget a birthday or an anniversary because of the ‘recession.’ It’s almost as bad as global warming small talk.


Other bloggers Tops of 2008 Lists! Thanks

From Random Acts Of Ben:

Top 5 movies released in '08 you did not see but definitely should have seen.

5. W. (dir Oliver Stone)
4. Mongol (dir Sergei Bodrov)
3. Standard Operating Procedure (dir Eroll Morris)
2. Miracle of St. Anna (dir Spike Lee)
1. The Fall (dir Tarsem Singh)


From The Adventures of Elle-anor Rigby

5 Things on the Internet that Made my Head Spin in 2008:

1-twitter: First of all, what the fuck is that? Second of all, JO told me last week that because of all these fucking social networking sites, she only thinks in 200 characters or less. I have been using twitter for 4 months. I still have no idea what's going on. I just figured out how to make @replies. Mind blown.

2- flickr introduces video: I love flickr for its clean, modern feel and the relatively small numbers of pedophiles and sex fiends that try to contact me on the site.I despise youtube because of its kitschy appeal and the number of people that can't spell or write a sentence. Now flickr, where I share my photos and e-stalk my friends is letting you upload video. What's going to change now? Is flickr going to turn into the media messiah that beats out the legacy of webshots albums that your friends made when only one of your had a digital camera?

3- There are good looking men on match.com: I was pretty sure those obnoxious ads on myspace with good looking people flirting via web cam was a hoax. I thought match.com was only for men missing fingers and men that like to have sex with children. Never did I think there would be multiple good looking men who exist in the real world, who read on the subway, and who wipe their own ass. Wow.

4- seamlessweb: Never has it been easier to find every single pizza joint in Manhattan. It's like all those delivery guys shoving menus under my door are trying to see how many trees they can kill, and to continue with the most useless marketing scheme ever.

5- myopenbar.com: In college, I wished on a regular basis that every day there could be open bar. The kind folks at myopenbar.com have granted my wishes. Even if it means well vodka and some old men ostensibly wearing dirty underwear. If you follow myopenbar on twitter, you can get updated every 42 seconds about where the well drinks are at.



Thanks to everyone for checking this crap show out. This video has a message of hope for 2009 and its fucking strange in a good way:


Friday, December 12, 2008

Rode off, the prospect of gold in my wake

John Hughes’ older movies consisted of kids from the suburbs with idiot parents who had no idea what their kids did on the weekends. A rich hot dude would a throw party and simply a shrug when he noticed the ‘Nerd’ had taken off his in father’s Bentley with his girlfriend. A group of diverse kids serving Saturday detention would have a therapy session and dance around the library. Three high school friends, one of them happens to the most popular guy in Chicago, ditch school and get a taste of city life sitting in the bucket seats of a sports car. But did they get a real taste?

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is considered a classic. Matthew Broderick talks to the camera and schemes his way through the greatest day of his life. The whole time he is followed by a beautiful girl and a miserable friend in a hockey jersey. His life is amazing. He is a beast with a leopard print jacket. He isn’t that street smart though.

There is a pivotal scene in the move when Ferris hops on a parade float and takes over a parade full of white people until one moment. One moment when the kids from the ‘burbs get their first taste of urban culture.

Wait or skip ahead to about :39



Ferris and friends most likely haven’t spent much time in any major American city. Maybe they haven’t even left their sparkling white neighborhoods, which is why Ferris’ escape is supposed to be so revealing. But they now see that black people rise up out of the concrete when danceable music is played. Apparently black people dance in unison and don’t stop smiling either. A black man actually vaults through the air above the crowd with precision at about 1:17. This is what it looks like outside of their neighborhoods. 

I think you get the point here. This is just as offensive as a McDonald’s Dollar Menu commercial. Someone really needs to Save Ferris.