Monday, August 07, 2006

The more you try to erase me, the more I appear

The women directly to your left are the rock godesses of the band HEART. Sisters Nancy and AnnWilson were gnarly guitar players and could wail like women who had just been dumped. One of their more popular hits was Barracuda. Barracuda is a song that you don't want to listen to in the car because it will get you so hype that you will achieve speeds of over 100 mph, resulting in a horrible wreck. I was listening to Barracuda once while crossing a drawbridge in New Jersey that was opening for a tutugboat. I disregarded the flashing lights and gave it a shot. Needless to say I made the jump while laughing maniacally and screaming, "OHHHHHHHH BAAAARRRAAACUUUUUUDDAAA!" If I was listening to the Moody Blues in my '93 Sable I wouldn't even had come close to jumping that drawbridge.
One of my personal favorite jams by Heart is Magic Man, which first appeared on their Dreamboat Annie album. It's not as bone jarring as Barracuda, but the lyrics are about a man I aspire to be...the Magic Man. Not the Magician. Not David Blane. THE MAGIC MAN.

Here are some lyrics:

cold late night so long ago
When i was not so strong you know
A pretty man came to me
Never seen eyes so blue
I could not run away
It seemed we'd seen each other in a dream
It seemed like he knew me
He looked right through me
"come on home, girl" he said with a smile
"you don't have to love me yet
Let's get high awhile
But try to understand
Try to understand
Try try try to understand
I'm a magic man."

First things first the magic man is one of the coldest cats to grace vinyl. He was straight chillin at a bar one night when one of the Wilson sisters (pictured above) noticed him from across the room, and as soon as she saw him she knew that if she went home with him she wouldn't regret it. He wasn't the type of dude who was going to end up being a regretful hookup or a vomit inducing one night stand. He was an absolute beast and she knew it.
The lyrics note, "It seemed like he knew me...He looked right through me." Talk about charm. It was seeping out of the Magic Man's pores, and women were helpless when he turned it on.
There wasn't any small talk between the two either because that's just not how the Magic Man rolls. He's a straight shooter. He doesn't sugarcoat anything. He want's the mashed potatoes without the gravy. He simply drops a pimp bomb on her with, "Come on home, girl." She didn't hesitate for a second when he threw this line at her.
The line that really clinched the deal was, "You don't have to love me yet...Let's get high awhile." BOOM is what he should have said because the chick would have hit the floor at this point. He lets her know that he wants no strings right off the bat. He isn't going to wait till next weekend and never answer the phone. He basically tells her, "Listen baby...I am going to take you home tonight and make your toes curl, but I don't want you calling me next weekend."
He uses that creamy line as a segway to "let's get high awhile." You know the Magic Man isn't talking about his own weed. Of course the he is going to smoke the women's shit like a cold killer. Magic Man is the guy who gets high every day, but never bought a bag of grass. Weed finds him because it wants a player of his caliber smoking it.
Then he tries to explain in the simplest of forms: "Try to understand (I REPEAT) Try try try to understand...I'm a MAGIC MAN" He says all that he has needed to say in a matter of minutes. A female approaches him and he shoots from the hip. He lets her know that he is one of the coldest dudes she will ever meet and that he is going to take her home and make earth shattering love to her, but she has to uderstand. She has to understand that this cat is one of a kind. He comes to your home, smokes your weed, tears your shit up, leaves early in the morning and you will remember him for the rest of your life.
The Magic Man doesn't fuck either...he makes love. He makes women cry with joy and tremble for hours afterwards. Every woman Magic Man has ever slept with has orgasmed multiple times.
Magic Man is a man all men want to be. He tells you everything you need to hear in a matter of minutes, and no woman has ever turned him down. Next time you hear this song through your clock radio speakers turn it up, and TRY TRY TRY TO UNDERSTAND.