Tuesday, April 26, 2005

All the Rage

I was drivng past an all girls private school the other day while the field hockey team was warming up and something caught my eye. There was a 6'5 freshman with braces, pigtails, the shoulders of Lavar Arrington, and she was holding a field hockey stick that looked like a toothpick. After I saw this article it all made more sense: http://kyw.com/health/health_story_115225714.html .
This saddens and amazes me because I am sickened by the alarming number of woman with serious body image problems, and TEENAGE GIRLS ON STEROIDS?
This quote alone should make you shudder:

Lloyd Johnston, a University of Michigan professor who heads an annual government-sponsored survey on risky behavior by young people, said: "Other than pedophilia, this is the most secret behavior I've ever encountered."

And this quote should make you shit:

"Talking about supplements and steroids needs to start in the third grade," Small said. "If you wait till ninth grade, it's too late."

The THIRD GRADE? I think I was still getting in trouble for eating paste in third grade. Imagine a young catholic school girl lifting up her plaid skirt and injecting steroids into her butt at morning recess? This is something that will continue to baffle and upset me.

Steroids are the hot things these days thanks to Jose Canseco and Congress. Any press is good press and steroid abuse is bad press that generates success. They are going to start testing EVERYONE for steroids soon. The recent winner of the Westminster Best In Show just submitted a blood and urine sample...resultes are to be determined.
There have been whispers of more intense steroid screenings in pro football, and we all know how tainted the olympics have been in recent years due to performance enhancing drugs. On the cover of the Sports section in the Phildelphia Inquirer today we see pictures of Lenny Dykstra and Marion Jones. Two juiced famous faces. Lenny wasn't a surprise to anyone, but Marion Jones was an american darling. She was a atheltic female role model. Tragically her image has been destroyed by allegations and denial of steroid use. Maybe these young girls who are using steroids had pictures of Marion Jones hanging in their lockers.
John Kruk is quoted in the (Inquirer) article saying that he never saw any signs of steroid abuse in the Phillies clubhouse, and that he is surprised to hear the Dykstra news. The former first baseman then admitted to injecting turkey gravy in his ass before the 94 season.

Everyone is juicing up these days! Who's next to be nabbed for steroid abuse? I have compiled a list:
Harry Potter
Conan O'Brien
Earl Boykins
Sinbad "He needs press before releasing Houseguest 2: Back on the Couch"
The lead singer of Creed
Martha Stewart
Tony the Tiger "He has been jacked like... forever"
John Clayton of ESPN fame. He needs a one up on Sean Salisbury.

POSTER TIMEEEEEEEEE!!!!

It looks the the roles that Matt Leblanc got on Friends as a struggling actor were made into real movies.
http://www.impawards.com/1996/ed.html

I would be happy if I wasn't Michael Rappaport too:
http://www.impawards.com/1996/im_not_rappaport.html

Another look into the future marking the arrival of SUV's:
http://www.impawards.com/1974/cars_that_ate_paris_ver2.html

Great earring Sly:
http://www.impawards.com/1978/paradise_alley.html

I'm out like the Sixers in the first round

5 comments:

ERL said...

HA! Most def: The lead singer of Creed. what a creepy dude. what all girls school? notre dame? they're ... big girls.

KC said...

I believe it was hogwarts academy

ERL said...

hmmm..that's hot.

sammmmmyg said...

I think the following statistic is complete bullshit "Overall, up to about 5 percent of high school girls and 7 percent of middle-school girls admit trying anabolic steroids at least once". Notice the up to....wonder what the actual stat would be.

blue1aqua1 said...

That quote is scary. I think I was still learning how to tie my shoes at 3rd grade, how was I going to stick a needle in me if I couldn't tie my own shoes.