Thursday, April 07, 2005

Lebron's dong

The Sixers reached the .500 mark again last night with a 3 point win over the Bobcats (106-103). Of course they had a 26 point lead at one time, which was chipped away by stellar defense on our part. I love Kyle Kutcher, but he shouldn't be starting folks. He has alot of things going for him: the quick release, he will chuck threes all game, floopy hair, and the fan favorite white guy thing. He's too slow to be out there playing so much defense. Bring him off the bench to provide a boost in scoring, which will lead to Marc Jackson rebounds and immediate putbacks. Once again my theory is proven true about Marc Jackson. Listen to the Sixers on the radio and it becomes more evident. Just listen to how many times McGinnis mentions the ball going down low to him and how many times he shoots. Last night he averaged about 8 shots per 10 touches. But I am not talking layups here people...I am talking about fadeaway jumpers off his right foot. Does he only care about the box score? Does he think he will get more ass this way? I think the latter.

After realizing the rag tag bunch of NBA nomads on the Bobcats last night I was inspired. There are some hilarious players out there and they deserve some credit. So I am coming up with the NBA "All Ridiculous" team. Reasons for making the team:
1. Ugliness...sometimes I wish these guys wore helmets too.
2. Lack of PT...that's the reason your ridiculous. Funny numbers...like .8's for scoring avg.
3. Multiple 10 day contracts and playing for a ludicrous amount of teams.
4. Funny names...there are many other reasons that will be understood when you see the players and actions shots.
5. Being a ludicrous lottery pick...with no promise whatsoever.

Here is the starting five:

Center: http://www.nba.com/playerfile/ben_handlogten/index.html Great action shot.
Power Forward: http://www.nba.com/playerfile/michael_ruffin/index.html I think he bites.
Small Forward: http://www.nba.com/playerfile/nikoloz_tskitishvili/index.html A number 5 pick. Totally unpronouncable name...and he is a joke foreigner.
Shooting Guard:http://www.nba.com/playerfile/richie_frahm/index.html Hahahahahaa. This guy plays for the Blazers. He must sit in the locker room and say to himself, "What the fuck is going on here." Does he talk to anyone on that team. I bet D-Miles and him are real tight...so tight that Richie does that double fist head tap thing when he scoes.
Point Guard: http://www.nba.com/playerfile/mateen_cleaves/index.html
How is he still in the league? He is going to have Brevin Knight type numbers when he retires.
Coming off the Bench:
http://www.nba.com/playerfile/ha_seung-jin/index.html Don't even need to write anything.
http://www.nba.com/playerfile/desagana_diop/index.html Great head shot...8th pick...great career numbers.
http://www.nba.com/playerfile/tim_thomas/index.html Biggest flake in NBA history.
http://www.nba.com/playerfile/scott_williams/index.html Just retire...might have sold his soul to the devil. Has a few rings from his days in Chicago.
http://www.nba.com/playerfile/ndudi_ebi/index.html WHAT...awesome numbers...high schooler.

There you have it. My NBA all ridiculous team...took longer than I thought and I might have to make some changes in the roster, but I think Handgloten is the sleeper here.

Peace to the Gods.

4 comments:

GallagherRules said...

Fortunately for you, I have assembled a dream team of "Ugliness"


http://www.sportsline.com/nba/players/playerpage/240318

http://www.sportsline.com/nba/players/playerpage/20633

http://www.sportsline.com/nba/players/playerpage/6744

http://www.sportsline.com/nba/players/playerpage/400564

If Ric Fox and George Foreman had a kid:
http://www.sportsline.com/nba/players/playerpage/307829

All-Star & League MVP:
http://www.sportsline.com/nba/players/playerpage/201290

He usually has a pick in his fro:
http://www.sportsline.com/nba/players/playerpage/498306

He must take a 4X4 in the face before each picture:
http://www.sportsline.com/nba/players/playerpage/20615

Rik James would of called this guy 'Darkness' too:
http://www.sportsline.com/nba/players/playerpage/436779

Nice Square Head:
http://www.sportsline.com/nba/players/playerpage/139088

Worlds Biggest Loser, ever. :
http://www.sportsline.com/nba/players/playerpage/283504

This Dude will be a starter very soon:
http://www.sportsline.com/nba/players/playerpage/498323

mburke7 said...

Ms. Obvious with this comment but, Coyle very disappointed you did not even mention the two ugliest of all time.

Head Coach
http://www.nba.com/playerfile/tyrone_hill/?nav=page

Assistant coach
http://www.nba.com/playerfile/sam_cassell/index.html

John Spartan said...

Way too much copying and pasting

KC said...

I know leaving out Cassel was a travesty, but I was doing an all ridiculous team. This team is made up of jokes who suck and are funny looking. Cassel is a beast in my book. People like Desagna Diop...the lottery pick who is horrendous...now he is all ridiculous.