Friday, April 22, 2005

BICEPS, TRICEPS, AND EVEN ABBBBSSSSS

Have you ever seen that commercial on TV for Fitness Made Simple? If you aren't sure just look at this meatstick-----> http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v151/crowebar/basedow.jpg
Now do you know what I am talking about? The legendary John Basedow is the founder and host of Fitness Made Simple, and he has been dominating your commericials with an out of date ad for years. Despite his lean ripped to shreds frame there is something off. Every picture of him looks like it was photo-shopped. His head looks permanently superimposed, and it doesn't seem to move much. Look here: http://www.fitnessmadesimple.com/ . I don't really want to look this this mutant, but apparently he has been selling his product and is well known in the world of meat heads.
Well I heard an amazing rumor that he died in the tsunami. (I am not laughing at the tsunami...just Basedow). Apparently he was visiting the island of Phuket to whip some Thai people into shape as the tsunami hit: http://ca.prweb.com/releases/2005/1/prweb193149.htm . That link isn't from some joke news website either. I honestly can't seem Basedow bowing down to such a force. He seems to have more strengh than any natural disaster. I could imagine him standing on the beach with his arms open waiting fo the tsunami to come hit him. He would be yelling at people on the beach, "GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN! I AM GOING TO USE MY MUTANT BODY TO RETARD THE PROGRESS OF THIS DEVASTATING WAVE!" His sleek frame would cut through that tsunami like a knife. No way Basedow would be defeated by water...it's too weak. The only natural force that he can't conquer is fire...but who can defeat fire? Just hearing someone say Basedow was killed in the Tsunami is enough to make me lose it.
Apparently Basedow is pretty upset by the rumor and if you noticed he posted a note about it on his website (the second link).
It hard to believe that someone who doesn't even look real is dead anyway. In fact Basedow might be a hologram, android, mongloid, or created by the governement. Has anyone ever seen him in person? I didn't think so. So not only do we wonder if he died in the Tsunami, BUT does Basedow even exist? I just ordered the five set DVD.

A hilarious Basedow site...read his quote:http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Towers/8488/basedow.html

Apparently there are some serious Basedow haters out there. They are just jealous:
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/basedowsucks

POSTER TIME!

Basedow's favorite movie:
http://www.impawards.com/1985/american_ninja.html

He is looking at porn on the net:
http://www.impawards.com/1985/daryl_ver1.html

Michael J. finally reaches puberty:
http://www.impawards.com/1985/teen_wolf.html

No Rappers rock this ugly poster:
http://www.impawards.com/1983/scarface_ver7.html

I'm out like a blod vessel on Basedow's abs.

4 comments:

Closk said...

R.I.P. Celebrity Fitness Guru John Basedow. I'd hate to slam a dead guy, but the man seriously resembled a watermelon with a thimble attached to it. I think his casket might very well resemble a funnel. On the topic of infomercials, I will venture to say that Teaching the Mechanics of the Major League Swing Volumes I,II,III and Defensive Skills videos from Tom Emanski will be shown on ESPN at least 30 times today and not a single person in the country will actually buy the video. How is that commercial still on tv? Did Emanski sign a lifetime contract with ESPN. They could make a killing selling those ad slots to other companies. Now look, I'm not going to question the credibility of Tom Emanski. After all, his teams have won back to back to back AAU national titles (note: the AAU doesn't even exist anymore), but the video is so old. I mean don't you think they could have come up with some drills more innovative than throwing a baseball into a trash can. For $19.99 plus shipping and handling, we deserve a little bit more than that. Although the Fred McGriff stale brim shots are hilarious. The only Crimedog commercial older may be McGruff ones. I'll open this one up for discussion.

KC said...

McGruff saved my grandmom from a purse snatcher once. He is really strong for a dog/man.

Mike Burns said...

I decided to check in on your Blog Kev... The Sports Guy has mentioned the McGriff infomercial in many articles. That commercial is classic. But who can forget Jimmy Tango's Fat Busters:
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/95/95ttango.phtml

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