Thursday, May 05, 2005

Hey there Mr. Brontosaurus...thanks for all that you've done for us

Denise Coke Arrested on Cocaine Charges

ROSEVILLE, Mich. - A woman identified by authorities as Denise Coke was arrested after a drug-sniffing dog discovered 33 pounds of cocaine in her vehicle. Roseville police acting on a tip gave Michigan State Police the description of a vehicle allegedly containing drugs. Coke, 25, of Detroit was arrested after being pulled over for speeding Tuesday night on Interstate 696. Coke was arraigned Wednesday on a charge of possession with intent to deliver more than 1,000 grams of cocaine, punishable by up to life in prison upon conviction. A judge set her bond at $1 million. Roseville Police Chief Richard Heinz said the cocaine had a street value of $7 million to $8 million, but the drugs' destination was not immediately known.

Come on Denise...you had it coming for you. 8 mill with of cocaina! Maybe the best headline of the year so far.

NO...I WAS TOTALLY WRONG...this is even better.

Carjack Suspect Reports 'His' Car Stolen

BALTIMORE - A suspect takes a car at gunpoint and drives it around for two weeks before the owner spots the car and has it towed. The thief then calls police to report "his" car stolen. Those events seemed so improbable that Baltimore police detective Gregory Jenkins felt compelled to end his report of the incident with the admonition, "Again, this really happened." "Another detective told me, 'Greg, you had to make this up,'" the detective told The (Baltimore) Sun. Police charged Gregory Alston, 20, Tuesday with armed robbery, possession of a stolen car and a handgun violation. Police say the carjacking occurred about 10:30 p.m. on April 20 when two women reported that a man armed with a silver handgun and wearing a black bandanna approached them while they were parked on a street in northeast Baltimore. The women said the gunman ordered them out of their car and sped off. Tuesday, one of the women spotted the stolen car in front of an apartment building about a half-mile from where it had been taken. She called police who towed it to the department's Northeast District station. Two hours later, a man called police and reported the car stolen. Officers brought the man back to the station for questioning. At first, police said, he insisted he had bought the car for $1,700 on March 11. Eventually, he confessed to the robbery. Why did he report it stolen? The suspect told police he had left his wallet in the car.

I totally understand why this genius contacted the police to let them know that the car he stole was "re-stolen." He forgot his wallet, as well as that black thing robbers wear around their eyes to conceal their identity, a huge canvas bag with a dollar sign on it, and his black skull cap.

As for the Sixers does anyone remember them having any kind of expectations coming into this season? Where they even expected to make the playoffs? NO they weren't. They weren't even expected to crack the .500 mark. So the journalists in Philly can't even crack a fucking smile? To my knowledge this was the year that Jim O'brien was brought in to calm the storm that was brought on by Iverson's feud with Chris Ford towards the end of 2003-2004 season. I thought he was stepping into a no pressure situation considering the players that he had to work with. So when we show a little promise, and Iverson starts to garner attention with his stellar numbers people start throwing stones when something goes wrong. Look at the roster! Josh Davis was getting serious minutes at the beginning of the season and people are complaining. HE HAD NOBODY especially when Glenn Robinson decided to establish himself as just another selfish athlete who wouldn't bow down to a rookie. Speaking of this rookie, who started all 82 games this season, did more than he could to make the team better. MARC JACKSON was starting at one point this past season. Did you watch Marc with a C throughout the playoffs? He was horrendous with a C, and got his shit eaten by Big Ben WALLY everytime he went to the hole.
So when I see this headline in the Daily News I get wild: O'brien sees answers in 1st year; Donnellon sees questions. WHAT QUESTIONS? We exceeded expectations, went 8 for 10 as we pushed for a higher playoff seed at the end of the season, and played damn well against the defending champs. Bitch about Webber all you want, but Kenny Thomas wasn't exactly carrying us into the promised land either. Everyone please stop complaining, and look forward to next season...Iverson is and so should you.

POSTER TIIIIMMMEEEE !!!!!

I think MR. T wore that on a chain at one point:
http://www.impawards.com/1983/d_c_cab.html

I taped myself having sex with a teenager!! YEEAAAAHHHH!
http://www.impawards.com/1984/oxford_blues.html

Don't tell me its Guttenburg:
http://www.impawards.com/1990/dont_tell_her_its_me_ver2.html

I' m out like Kellen Winslow's carrer

4 comments:

KC said...

BASEDOW

ERL said...

as you should know, it's IMPOSSIBLE for philly fans to be happy with their teams, regardless of how well they have done. dont you remember the eagles in the super bowl? everyone was SO depressed after they lost because they had lost - and didnt focus on the fact that they had MADE the fucking super bowl in the first place. philly fans. we suck.

John Spartan said...

THAT GUTTENBERG MOVIE LOOKS RIDICULOUS! ! ! ! ! I wonder if it's on DVD...

KC said...

I have seen the guttenburg flick, and it is completely out of control. He is an overweight cartoonist who loses all this weight, grows a mullet, and starts driving a motorcycle to bag some chick.