Sunday, May 29, 2005

Don't worry about the government

The Cruise Factor:
I came across this aricle on IMDB and the title alone proves my theory about Tom Cruise:

Cruise Launches War on Psychiatrists
Tom Cruise has declared a public war on psychiatrists because he fears the "pseudo-science" has led to a drug-fuelled crisis for today's children. The movie hunk was diagnosed as dyslexic when he was just seven, and doctors suggested he should take drugs to control his learning problems. Memories of that part of his childhood fuelled Cruise to seek alternative ways of overcoming his dyslexia - a problem that led him to the Church of Scientology's educational programs. Becoming a scientologist in 1984 made the actor look closely at the controversial religion's anti-psychiatry stance, and he has since become a firm believer that the science and the medicating of children is wrong. Speaking exclusively to US news show Access Hollywood as part of a week-long special about his scientology beliefs, the movie hunk declares, "I'm going right after psychiatry and these false labels and this pseudo-science. I was diagnosed as dyslexic; I had a lot of energy as a child. They wanted to put me on drugs... Never did; my mother said no, absolutely not, no way and I'm thankful. Had I been put on those drugs, I never would be here today... I never would have had the career that I'm having. Am I making people aware of it by discussing it openly and saying what a fraud psychiatry is? You bet I am. I feel a responsibility because I care..." The actor also maintains that poor results in education in America can be blamed on mind-altering drugs that are given to children. He adds, "SAT (exam) scores have gone right down the toilet. The parents are blaming the teachers, the teachers are blaming the parents and the psychs are putting everyone on drugs."

WOW...thats alot to handle, and his quotes are exactly how he speaks. He just reels shit off. He asks lot's of questions that he answers immediately. "Am I an asshole sometimes? Of course I am! Do I mind? No because it's the psychiatrists who are telling me to mind!" There is something about Tom Cruise that has always irked me, and I could never put my finger on it until his recent public gushings over his new girlfriend. There is a problem with every Tom Cruise movie: It's starring TOM CRUISE. Whenever I see one of his movies I don't see his character...all I see is Tom Cruise. There is no getting around it. The Last Samurai was on TV for the 12 trillionth time yesterday, and I didn't see a military man. I saw Tom Cruise running and screaming amongst alot of asian people with swords. For a second I thought I saw him in those Risky Business tighty whities at one point slashing through the crowd. If you have the DVD you can pause it at the correct point to see this hidden scene.
He doesn't have many different facial expressions either. This guy is all teeth all the time. He and Patrick Ewing should have a contest to see who has the most distracting chompers.
http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/01/12/cruise_narrowweb__200x285.jpg
http://img.slate.msn.com/media/82/020918_PatrickEwing.jpg
Tom Cruise is like a hologram. He isn't real. He doesn't even have a belly button because he was created in a lab in hollywood 1962. It's hard for me to explain my problem with Cruise because it is filled with mystery. Maybe it is because he is such a big star that I simply can't get around that fact. Everyone knows who he is, and he is TOO nice when you see him in an interview or any kind of public performance. If you went out this weekend and saw Tom Cruise at a bar he would most likely talk to you, by you a drink, and offer to have you back to his room to watch him have sex with Katie Holmes. He would actually convince you to watch the sex.
I think Cruise's character in Magnolia is a perfect description of the person he really is...Frank T.J. Mackey:
http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/new_line_cinema/magnolia/tom_cruise/mag.jpg
As T.J. Mackey Cruise plays a character that is most like his real life persona. He commands a crowd with his constant ramblings and that million dollar smile. Cruise and T.J. have this" I couldn't be happier about my life" attitude going for them that never ceases. It is almost like Cruise is in a constant orgasmic state. To put it blunty...he is always cumming. Cruise has actually reached a level that's beyong tantric sex and he won't share his secret with anyone. In Magnolia T.J. is confronted by a journalist who breaks him down during an interview. She asks him some real questions about his family, and T.J. doesn't have many answers. He has completely erased his checkered past from his little brain. The real Tom Cruise wouldn't have any answers either because he is a pod person. Like I said before he was made in a lab somewhere in Hollywood.
So my main problem with Tom Cruise is that he is TOM CRUISE. He could do anything he wanted in Hollywood...honeslty. When you look at his list of films the guy really hasn't failed.
LEGEND isn't even as bad as some people say it is. Eyes Wide Shut is pretty ludicrous, but it's Kubrick's last show, and that film will always have an excuse for it's missing pieces...Kubrick died. There is also Losin It, which I have never seen or heard of, but don't balme Tom Cruise. Blame the casting director because Jackie Earle Haley is in it. You know the tough kid from the Bad News Bars who rocks the motorcycle and hooks up with chicks :
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/hh/0355097/HH/0355097/JackieEarleHaley2_picts.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Haley,%20Jackie%20Earle
Cruise is a hollywood darling that will never cease to exist. He is always going to be around. He is always going to put people into a trance. He is never going to make a movie that absolutely bombs either. Tom will continue to dominate and we all will continue to buy tickets to his films. Just Remember kids...he isn't a real person, and you can take his characters in anyof his movies and switch it up. For instance Jerry Maguire could be in All the Right Moves, and you wouldn't even bat an eyelash. Go see Magnolia and you will know what the hell I am talking about.

POSTER TIME!!!!!!

Deniro as a German Sheperd:
http://www.impawards.com/1989/jacknife.html

YEAAAAHHHHHHH
http://www.impawards.com/1989/no_holds_barred.html

What Michael Jackson does before he goes to bed at night:
http://www.impawards.com/1989/phantom_of_the_opera.html

PEACE

3 comments:

ERL said...

tom cruise is legally insane. or so i heard.

madison's favorite son said...

i agree. his AI chip developed by Lucas Arts and IBM is good, but it is missing the empathy bit. actually that is a guess, but i'm convinced his chips needs an upgrade. as for katie holmes- he'g giving her the 'jesus juice.' enough said.

Suz said...

I still sweat Tom Cruise, even if he does beleive in aliens.