Tuesday, June 28, 2005

You thinkin' lobster?..HAH... I'm thinkin' burger kang

Morgan Free-help

In the last movie is saw, Batman Begins, Morgan Freeman is the all knowing gadget guy who supplies Bruce Wayne with all of his toys for fighting crime. Morgan Freeman seems to always land roles like this. The all knowing wise black man who helps out his white co-star. We are supposed to feel like Morgan has been through it all and he wears it on his face, but his hardships are outshined by that smile. He always knows the lowdown, but is always the secondary character. It's always Morgan and a white actor, and that actor is usually in need of some elderly help, which Morgan always offers. The last movie I remember seeing him in in the movie theaters was Robin Hood. He was the only black character in a movie with an all white cast, and he played his usual role. This is something that has perplexed me for years, and will always baffle me. Here is a rundown of his movies and his "white in need of help co-star." I am sure you can think of a couple ever before checking out this list...it's like the Kevin Bacon game, but you don't have to poisin your mind with thoughts of Kevin Bacon.

Driving Miss Daisy: DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN!
Glory: Plays slave who fights in Civil War to help the beautifully moustached Matthew Broderick
Robin Hood: Performance will never outshadow unecessary Costner ass shot
The Power Of one: Plays a prisoner who is mentor to a positive thinking young white man
Unforgiven: Helps out Clint Eastwood
Shawshank Redemption: Shows white Tim Robbins how to get busy living
SEVEN: Don't look in the box white rookie cop Brad Pitt...I know...I am Morgan Freeman
Chain Reaction: Helps out Keanu Reeves, but performance is overshadowed by how akward Keanu looks when he runs
Kiss the Girls: The all knowing black man to Kentucky alum Ashley Judd
Amistad: I never saw this but I think he plays a slave
Nurse Betty: Helps out the PASTY white Renne Zellwegger
Along Came a Spider: Helps Monica Potter..Cage's hot wife in Con Air..solve a crime
High Crimes: Same formula as Kiss the Girls..Ashley Judd + all knowing Morgan Freeman
Bruce Almighty: Plays God who offers his powers to Jim Carrey
Million Dollar Baby: The black trainer, who appears in almost all boxing films
See how it all goes down? Morgan Freeman is always second fiddle to a know it all white character. He esentially plays the same role in every movie. Freeman is a great actor, but I can't get over the fact that he has been the same guy in almost all of his films.

LOVE THE NBA DRAFT:

Draft Sleepers:
Sean May
Roko Ukic
Ryan Gomes
Nate Robinson
Ronny Turiaf
Julius Hodge
Wayne Simien

Draft Creepers:
Antoine Wright
Hakim Warrick
Chris Taft
Matt Walsh
Danny Granger

6 comments:

KC said...

Draft Creepers..are the busts...in case you didnt figure that out...GENIUS

John Spartan said...

WOW...Morgan loves that role. Are there any movies where he doesn't know everything?

KC said...

Corey Feldman is also known for knowing everything in his movies...he dominates in the burbs

madison's favorite son said...

amistad is good. he looked omniscient in big bounce too, but i haven't seen that.

John Spartan said...

Corey Feldman is the next Morgan Freeman. He just needs a comeback...maybe a movie where he hunts monsters...he's pretty good at that.

KC said...

Feldman fixed the car in license to drive
He killed vampires in lost boys
He hit a couple gremlins with his slingshot in Gremlins
He knew Spanish in Goonies
He is the next morgan freeman!