The weak become heroes and the stars align

Canadian lab to test "sasquatch" hair
Mon Jul 25, 6:47 PM ET
VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Reuters) - The debate over the existence of sasquatch, aka Bigfoot, an ape-like creature said to haunt the wilderness of western Canada has entered the world of modern DNA testing.
A laboratory will test hair samples that several residents of Teslin, Yukon, say were left when the large, but so-far mythological creature made a late-night run through their community in early July.
The legend of a large, hairy, two-legged creature lurking in the mountains of western Canada and the United States dates back to before Europeans settled the continent. This was the second report of the creature near Teslin in just over a year.
In the latest sighting, a group of Teslin residents told the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. they heard branches cracking and saw a large human-like creature run by a house. It left behind large footprints, they said, and the hair tufts that were given to wildlife officials.

Thank you so much for this. Possible suspects when the results come in?

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While vacationing in the Poconos as a youngin' I was traveling through the woods, and stumbled over a rock. This rock ended up being a "mini-cliff" and I dropped about six feet onto some sticks and possbile deer poop. The kind that looks like turkey giblets. (I googled mini-cliff and couldnt find any pics...so bare with me) I was beat up pretty bad and began to cry as I ran back to the house that my family and their friends were staying at. People who were sitting on the deck saw me sauntering out of the woods with the tears running down my face. They immediatley started asking if I was ok, and I grew embarrased because people besides my immediate family saw me at my weakest. So I did what kids who are embarrased about something do best : LIE THROUGH YOUR TEETH.
I told everyone that I thought I saw bigfoot running through the woods and was so scared that I started running like a wild man. I explained that I was running so fast that I had fallen off a "cliff" and never looked back to see the beast. The memory is vivid, but I wish I could remember people's faces when I was trying to explain this ludicrous sasquatch sighting. I was expecting the guy who narrates Unsolved Mysteries to come out of the closet and start telling my story to all the adults. It's amazing what you will say when you are desperate. I actually wanted people to believe that I saw this hairy figure running through the forest looking for a nice tree to scratch his back on.
What kind of music would the sasquatch listen to? He was using a Walkman when I spotted him by the way. For some reason I imagine him running throug the woods rocking out the Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. I also see him breaking the sticks under his feet to Mirror In the Bathroom by English Beat. If you were a hairy animal like the wolf babies on Sally Jessy Raphael...or just a Yeti...what would you listen too?