Sunday, December 24, 2006

Wait...They Don't Love You Like I Love You

2 Thousand SIZIX

2006 was a delectable year.

People continued to read less.

Dancing with the Stars placed tap shoes on the nation and let us groove with a sick high school wrestler and a former football star.

Whenever we walk into a diner we can't help ourselves from asking for Chicken Noodle Soup with a soda on the side.

The crocodile hunter made us weep…when he stuck his finger up the butt of a completely unaware and innocent reptile.


Music released in '06 that was enjoyable:

TV ON THE RADIO-Return To Cookie Mountain
There is no need to try and understand or say something completely pretentious about this album. It never gets old, and it will haunt you. (Not like a ghost or phantasm)

ADAM SAMBERG AND JT - "It's my dick in a BOX"

THOM YORKE- Eraser
Made you feel sorry for yourself…while dancing.

GHOSTFACE KILLAH-Fishscale
He rapped about mermaids.

Movies released in the year of '06 that were great to view with a friend and some popcorn:

HALF NELSON - An idealist teacher forgets about No Child Left Behind. It's not because he is smoking crack either…it's because he gives a shit.

MONSTER HOUSE - Captured the essence of kids in the suburbs who are bored with riding their bikes down the same street everyday.

Reading material of '06 that people will enjoy with a cup of Earl Grey tea:

CHUCK KLOSTERMAN IV : A DECADE OF CURIOUS PEOPLE AND DANGEROUS IDEAS
Philosopher for a generation that is fully aware and completely confused at the same time. His Esquire piece about the use of the term, Guilty Pleasures, made more sense that your local news anchor.

GREAT GATSBY
Should be on every 'best of' list even though it was published in 1925. When you are upset that someone has a nicer cell phone than you…it's time to pick this up again.

Ban of '06

THE SMOKING BAN(ter)

Remember when you had a friend sleep over, who stole some cigs from an older sibling or Wawa and you had to wait until the middle of the night to sneak outside and have a smoke? That is what you have to do whenever you want to have a smoke in Philadelphia.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this ban, and it has nothing do with health reasons. It has to do with social skills. You are forced outside to a quieter setting where people are feeling your pain. It's making it easier to meet people in person as opposed to putting them in your top 8 on MySpace.
It's better to talk to someone outside the bar as opposed to screaming yourself horse trying to introduce yourself in the bar. So instead of fake laughing at someone because you have no idea what they said in the bar, you can hear what they have to say outside while smoking. Will this make is easier to talk to the opposite sex? Yes, until you go back in the bar and fake laugh at them when they tell you their grandmother was killed in a Rascal accident on the Ben Franklin Bridge.

BEST CLICHÉ THINGS SAID ABOUT THE SMOKING BAN:

"You know what the best part is? When I go home at night I don't smell like smoke anymore"

"It is actually making me smoke less!"

"At first I thought it was complete horseshit…now I love it!"

"Hey what do you think about the smoking ban? Oh really…cool…the best part is that I don't stink like smoke when I come home from the bar and I smoke less. (fake laugh) Do you want to go out for dinner sometime? Oh cool…I didn't think so. Do you have a light?"

8 comments:

John Matthew said...

happy birthday kevin. saw mom and dad last night. my dad rocked a sweater vest....urs a bow tie ...somethings never change.

elle_rigby said...

It's your birthday? If it is, happy belated birthday, if not... J. Matthew, yur an a-hole.

Kevin. Are you a smoker?

KC said...

Yes I smoke.....

elle_rigby said...

Well... that makes me feel a whole lot better.

John Matthew said...

stop smoking = my new years res. and yes elle it was kc's bday .....a hole !

John Matthew said...

kec = smokes pole !

Liz said...

this was my favorite thing i have read all day, perhaps all week. possibly all month.

KC said...

LIZ! where have you been?