Saturday, December 24, 2005

They lost touch with their bleeding hearts

When did the world of television commercials become so odd? What started this revolution of obscurity? Have you noticed they are competing for a level of randomness everytime we go to commercial break? Even Jimmy Dean's sausage ads have left us scratching our heads. They used to have the leather-faced Dean smiling and butter knifing through those delicious patties. His eyes sparking like the morning sun through his syrup bottle. He was so content with that steaming hog he was about to consume and he had our stomachs grumbling when he left the screen. What do they have now? A dude wearing a "sun suit" who shows up in the family kitchen and eats breakfast. His ray's "raise" when Jimmy Dean sausage is served, and you have to wonder about the sexual implications. It's just not the same old warming Jimmy Dean smiling back at me...it's simply randomness.
Who started the random commercial trend? It's very hard to pinpoint, but I would say that there are a few. Geico started making people swoon over a computer generated Gecko, and then they moved into the hilarious Caveman and reality show commercials. They mastered not even mentioning their product for more than 5 seconds, but pulled an audience in with their pop culture mash ups.
It's seems that Virgin mobile has taken it to a whole other level with their holiday "telethon" commerical. All those random characters such as a goat, wizard, gay elf, robot, and any other stereotype you can think of are answering phones. Nothing about the product but we are left with our chins on the floor cause we have just proclaimed, "What the FLETCH was that!"
These commercials drew inspiration from the Simpsons, who birthed the Family Guy, a show that has cornered the market on randomness. From left field is the new way to approach things. Generation Xers have seen it all before so killing us with kindness (Jimmy Dean) just isn't going to cut it anymore. We need to see something as random as the comments on an Urban Outfitters t-shirt. This trend of weirdness could shift back to the smiling old man promoting his product or things could just all become so odd that we don't even blink an eye next time. We wouldn't notice either way. Nothing ever changes and nothing is ever the same.

2005 ALBUM THAT I FORGOT TO INCLUDE ON MY PREVIOUS LIST:

DANGERDOOM
(MF Doom and Danger Mouse) www.dangerdoom.com

MF Doom might have propelled himself to the next nevel with this ludicrously infectious album, and Danger Mouse is simply a genius. This Adult Swim themed album is exactly what Swim showcases: a children's show remixed and reshaped into something that all age groups can shake their ass and minds too. MF rips through Mouse's beats like his mask is red hot, but it's the burn that feels good. Mouse's beat layering is the kind that makes you look in your rearview mirror to make sure their wasn't some ruckus happening on the road behind you. This album reminds me of OutKast's ATLiens because they are both soundtracks for intergalactic road trips.

Year of the Dragon or Tiger? NO WAY

2006 has started of great for my be the way...why? Because when I got in to work this morning the 4 foot 2 security guard came out of the bathroom shaking his head as I was walking into the office. I asked," What's wrong Reggie? He proclaimed, "I walked into the bathroom and someone left a shit floating in the toliet!" "OHH man", I relpy. He couldn't believe it. It was almost like someone left that shit in there for him be riddled with anguish after first glance. He then said, "Yeah man...not just some little terd...this shit was about as big as my ARM!" (Lifting his stubby arm into the sky) I laid down and asked for God to take me because I would have died in a state of uncontrollable laughter. There is no better sign that you are going to have a good year. This is the year of the arm lenghted poop for me...let's hope it's going to be a good one.

8 comments:

KC said...

I dont know why this is dated so long ago..i finished it last night.

KC said...

Come on...some love here please

ERL said...

arm length poop. i cannot believe that no one commented on that.

KC said...

thanks errrllll...i cant believe no one had anything to say either

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jackbrizzity said...

I don't know about you, but I would rather read about arm-length poop than a day in the life of Ranger Rodney anyday.

A random commercial . . . remember "The Answer" Y A Tittle

Anonymous said...

arm length poops are cool, especially when they're yours and not left for you by some anus

Anonymous said...

my shit is so laaarge its in chaarge of my life every day every way