I slice up squares like sicilian

The Ipod can without a doubt be noted as a major player in the evolution of modern music. You can create soundtracks to just about anything. Your walk to and from any form of public transportation. Your action sports musical montage for the gym. It can turn your car into a party and the driver and passenger into masters of the wheels of steel...err wheel of plastic. Some can't live without it, and some are too lazy to add songs to their playlist.
It's sleek design has spawned a portable electronic fashion show. Cell phones and portable music players are now parallel to certain makes of cars. If you have the Motorola RAZR cellphone you are driving a Lexus. If you still have that Speak and Spell looking Nokia, you're driving a '89 Ford Festiva. The Ipod Nano is like driving around in a brand new shiny white BMW. The old Ipod mini is like driving an '85 Benz...it used to be the hottest thing around but desperately needs a paint job. If you rock the Ipod shuffle you're riding a half decent mountain bike. Some of the gears don't click when you want them to, but it gets the job done.
Apple has released an ILife program for their pretty streamlined machines. It apparently controls anything and everything in your digital world. Pictures, music, movies,porn filing, and apparently it makes coffee if you are feeling tired from staring at the screen all day. I wonder when IGod will come out.
Apple has changed the way we move throughout this digital age, but there is double edged sword here. The Ipod is magnificant but if you can only hold under a thousand songs (like myself) the jams tend to get pretty stale. You can play out your favorite album and no longer say, "It's my favorite...I don't even skip songs." You have access to it all the time now. You are sick of it and need another fix. This cruel cycle continues and before you know it you desperately need something fresh.
You search and all the sudden find something crispy to add to your pod. It invigorates, excites, makes you even a little hot and horny for a while, but then it happens. You start listening to it, but you aren't hearing it. The beats go through your mind without stopping like a Taxi to scared to pick you up because you look like you're going to projectile vomit all over the cab. That album that you couldn't get enough off turns into an afterthought.
The sharp side of this sword that is capable of delivering a deadly blow? You are constantly searching for something new to move your soul. Music you never imagined hearing has entered your playlist because you needed a fresh start. You will discover B-sides, live cuts, never released tracks, and maybe that acoustic Neil Diamnond album. That one song you heard in that movie that made your ass shake can now be found, and you could turn out to be a huge fan of the group that originally moved your midsection. Once you have this new favorite group you will continue to add all their stuff to your Ipod, and fall into the black hole of music again.
We are expanding our musical horizons and hopefully refining our palettes a bit. This could be helping the music industry in ways we can't even fathom. With people constantly searching for something new there is going to be a demand for quality. Is the quality of music on the rise or are we just finding more diamonds in the rough because we are athirst for some new tunes? Either way someone is making a boatload of cash.


A word that needs to be used more:


deus ex machina \DAY-uhs-eks-MAH-kuh-nuh; -nah; -MAK-uh-nuh\, noun:
1. In ancient Greek and Roman drama, a god introduced by means of a crane to unravel and resolve the plot.
2. Any active agent who appears unexpectedly to solve an apparently insoluble difficulty.
In times of affluence and peace, with technology that always seems to arrive like a deus ex machina to solve any problem, it becomes easy to believe that life is perfectible.

-- Stephanie Gutmann, The Kinder, Gentler Military But we also need the possibility of cataclysm, so that, when situations seem hopeless, and beyond the power of any natural force to amend, we may still anticipate salvation from a messiah, a conquering hero, a deus ex machina, or some other agent with power to fracture the unsupportable and institute the unobtainable.


The sentence they provide is a great one but what about in our modern world of stupidity?

New age use:

I was talking to a land monster at the bar after about 15 captain and coke's when a deus ex machina entered my world and pulled me from the tightening grip of this sea creature.

All a deus ex machina is in today's world is a "wing-man"

its a bad idea, to go down to the pier by your self after dark

I was half asleep the other night when one of my dreams turned into a reality. There was an NBA game blaring through my "un-flat screen" television while I was in bed. The only voice I could hear was the obnoxious mufflings of Bill Walton as he tripped through his comments about the league and of course himself. It's a give-in that every night he is on TV Walton will without a doubt mention the championships he won with the Celts and the Blazers through his inury riddled career. This fateful night the Clippers were playing the Nuggets and the other annoucer (Can't remember his name...I was half awake) mentioned a short stint that Walton had with the Clip-show. Walton then comments, "I was on three of the greatest teams in basketball history! The UCLA Bruins, Portland Trailblazers, and of course the Celtics. That Trailblazers team was the youngest team ever to win it all (This is the 3,459th time he has mentioned this...in January). But my worst experience was playing with the Clippers. I was always injured and only played in about 7 games!"
Then he drops the atom bomb:
"That was the darkest moment of my life...I'm a DISGRACE!"
COMPLETE silence was all you heard for about 30 seconds. I lept out of bed looking for my glasses to take a glance at the reaction to all those who heard this ludicrous self-loathing statement. When I finally focused I saw the befuddled Walton as he looked like he was about to put his head in his hands and mumble a DEAD jam to take himself to a happy place. The other commentators were in disbelief and nervously mentioned a meaningless play by Earl Watson. Then Walton perked up and proclaimed, "EARL WATSON! U-C-L-A LEGEND!
I then fell back into the most peaceful sleep knowing that that red haired mutant was back to his old self making outrageous statements about role players. Embrace Walton people. He will make you feel smarter and prettier than you have ever been before.

Lebron's choice to not to participate in the dunk contest in favor of the skills (or is it skillz) competition this All-Star weekend is another example of why he is so important to the NBA. Does anyone every say they are going to the bar, have some suds, and watch the skills competition? This is a competition reserved for people like Earl Boykins, and Earl Watson...Pretty much anyone named Earl. Now we have to watch to see what this man-child will do. He also has the best sitcom on television right now...the Lebrons of course.

The super flow with more jokes than Bazooka Joe

I have been quite busy these days and have not been able to post as frequently as before. If I could write on this thing everyday I would, but until that day here are some things that have invaded my mind recently.

Thoughts for thought:

Internet porn has desensitized those who have never even layed eyes on it.

It is also extremely racist. Google thugs and jugs...you will see exactly what I am talking about. One site (not the illustrious Thugs and Jugs) refers to the black porn "actors" as savages who have come to destroy blonde white chicks (I can't remember the exact name of this website, but that's a good thing). They portray these women as being violated completely because their "sexual" partners are black guys. Who gets off on this stuff? Well if David Lee Roth can get his own radio show I guess there is a demographic for everything. This has to be an issue somewhere, but is it appropriate to bring to the national media? OF COURSE IT IS! People will be glued to their sets as they looked at images of these web pages with pixalated spots covering up the good stuff. It will also give Kanye something to discuss following his appearance on the cover of Rolling Stone, where he is depicted as Jesus Christ.

Hey Tom Brady said he looks at porn on the internet so that makes me feel alot better about myself. I heard his poop doesn't even smell.

Have you ever seen a baby pigeon?

76er Lee Nailon http://www.nba.com/playerfile/lee_nailon/index.html just got locked up for beating his wife...he must have been pissed about me comparing him to Carlton from the Fresh Prince. Iverson is obviously the Fresh Prince in this whole debacle. Remember in the end the Fresh Prince became an Oscar Nominee, and Carlton ended up on a sitcom with LL Cool J.

Do people take Maxim magazine seriously?

MySpace.com is going to end is a gruesome way. The amount of information people post about themselves is shocking. This is like a handbook for all the creeps out there to pick and choose their next victim. Most of the participants have pictures of themselves, and many express the fact that they are looking for love. The need to reach out to others and share your experiences is normal, but people are putting so much of themselves out there without concern.

Remember the names Kara Borden and Daniel Ludwig?

Kara's 13-year-old sister, Katelyn, told investigators her parents were shot after they argued with Ludwig for about an hour, according to court papers. Katelyn said she saw Ludwig shoot her father, and then ran into the bathroom, where she heard a second shot, presumably the one that killed her mother, court papers said. Ludwig then ran through the house calling for Kara, she told investigators. The couple's 9-year-old son ran to the neighbors, who called 911. Police late Sunday issued an arrest warrant for Ludwig on charges of criminal homicide and kidnapping. Stephanie Mannon, 16, said Ludwig and Kara had been seeing each other secretly. "Their parents didn't approve of them being together" because of the age difference, she said. "It wasn't because he was a shady character, because he wasn't." Both Ludwig and Kara maintain Web sites. Hers refers to interests in soccer, art and her Christian faith; his says he enjoys "having soft air gun wars" and claims expertise in "getting in trouble."

These teens were exchanging info and X's and O's on a website just like MySpace.

I want to see this movie are least buy the poster:
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0390463/Ss/0390463/ScifighterPsterForIMDBsmll1.jpg?path=gallery&path_key=0390463

Your raps have no gift...like a lonely christmas

GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN!
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/01/11/ap/strange/mainD8F290T82.shtml

This is harrowing and shall haunt all onlookers forever! That creature belongs on the Island of Dr. Moreau. The one with Marlon Brando...not the H.G. Wells book that you most likely had to read the summer before your freshman year of high school.

Check out the trailer for the upcoming Sofia Coppola film Marie Antoinette. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0422720/ New Order's Age of Consent is the soundtrack to Coppola's trailer depicting 17th century France, and it works...if you grew up watching MTV. Trailers have become music videos and music videos have become trailers. Kanye West's Jesus Walks worked so brilliantly with the trailer for Jarhead that it's emotional impact matched that of the film.
The trailer for Antoinette is reminiscent of an old Annie Lennox video where she is running around trying to avoid broken glass in an elegant evening gown. We see Marie (Kirsten Dunst) running around in her elegant gown to the dancing keyboard and brooding lyrics of Consent. The trailer isn't an exact replica of Lennox's video, but the influence is undeniable. Trailers and music videos use every ounce of their limited time to make an impact. The perfect recipe for our ADD riddled generation.
Music makes the movies and sometimes makes the trailer better than the movie. Why do you think so many people saw Dangerous Minds with Michelle Pfeiffer? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112792/
Everyone was bumping their heads to that ludicrous Coolio jam wondering why we were so blind to see that the ones we hurt are you and me. If you can get a song to work with about 2 minutes of footage it's like magic. The viewer is immediately affected in some way because the combination of the two moved them.
Does this make the movie and the trailer one in the same? The trailer becomes and extension of the film and sometimes it's even better than the film itself. DVD's always have the trailers in their special features, which is important because trailers are a large part of the film they depict. A good trailer can't make a movie, but a good trailer is a damn good music video.

They lost touch with their bleeding hearts

When did the world of television commercials become so odd? What started this revolution of obscurity? Have you noticed they are competing for a level of randomness everytime we go to commercial break? Even Jimmy Dean's sausage ads have left us scratching our heads. They used to have the leather-faced Dean smiling and butter knifing through those delicious patties. His eyes sparking like the morning sun through his syrup bottle. He was so content with that steaming hog he was about to consume and he had our stomachs grumbling when he left the screen. What do they have now? A dude wearing a "sun suit" who shows up in the family kitchen and eats breakfast. His ray's "raise" when Jimmy Dean sausage is served, and you have to wonder about the sexual implications. It's just not the same old warming Jimmy Dean smiling back at me...it's simply randomness.
Who started the random commercial trend? It's very hard to pinpoint, but I would say that there are a few. Geico started making people swoon over a computer generated Gecko, and then they moved into the hilarious Caveman and reality show commercials. They mastered not even mentioning their product for more than 5 seconds, but pulled an audience in with their pop culture mash ups.
It's seems that Virgin mobile has taken it to a whole other level with their holiday "telethon" commerical. All those random characters such as a goat, wizard, gay elf, robot, and any other stereotype you can think of are answering phones. Nothing about the product but we are left with our chins on the floor cause we have just proclaimed, "What the FLETCH was that!"
These commercials drew inspiration from the Simpsons, who birthed the Family Guy, a show that has cornered the market on randomness. From left field is the new way to approach things. Generation Xers have seen it all before so killing us with kindness (Jimmy Dean) just isn't going to cut it anymore. We need to see something as random as the comments on an Urban Outfitters t-shirt. This trend of weirdness could shift back to the smiling old man promoting his product or things could just all become so odd that we don't even blink an eye next time. We wouldn't notice either way. Nothing ever changes and nothing is ever the same.

2005 ALBUM THAT I FORGOT TO INCLUDE ON MY PREVIOUS LIST:

DANGERDOOM
(MF Doom and Danger Mouse) www.dangerdoom.com

MF Doom might have propelled himself to the next nevel with this ludicrously infectious album, and Danger Mouse is simply a genius. This Adult Swim themed album is exactly what Swim showcases: a children's show remixed and reshaped into something that all age groups can shake their ass and minds too. MF rips through Mouse's beats like his mask is red hot, but it's the burn that feels good. Mouse's beat layering is the kind that makes you look in your rearview mirror to make sure their wasn't some ruckus happening on the road behind you. This album reminds me of OutKast's ATLiens because they are both soundtracks for intergalactic road trips.

Year of the Dragon or Tiger? NO WAY

2006 has started of great for my be the way...why? Because when I got in to work this morning the 4 foot 2 security guard came out of the bathroom shaking his head as I was walking into the office. I asked," What's wrong Reggie? He proclaimed, "I walked into the bathroom and someone left a shit floating in the toliet!" "OHH man", I relpy. He couldn't believe it. It was almost like someone left that shit in there for him be riddled with anguish after first glance. He then said, "Yeah man...not just some little terd...this shit was about as big as my ARM!" (Lifting his stubby arm into the sky) I laid down and asked for God to take me because I would have died in a state of uncontrollable laughter. There is no better sign that you are going to have a good year. This is the year of the arm lenghted poop for me...let's hope it's going to be a good one.

Come forward with whatever killed your spark

Tops of 2005

Albums for listening

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (self titled)

Talking Heads warpaint is spattered across the body of this band especially through the voice of lead singer Alec Ounsworth. Some might use this is a criticism, but Modest Mouse takes cues from the Heads and I bet you like them too.

My Morning Jacket "Z"

Outstanding voice, outstanding sound, and touches every genre of music you can imagine....even country. Don't compare them to anyone because you can't. Jim James' voice can reduce you to rubble, but there is hope there. His haunting pipes call for songs about misery but if you listen closely he isn't sad at all.

Kanye West "Late Registration"

They claim you never know what you got 'til it's GONE
I know I got it, I don't know what y'all on
I'ma open up a store for aspiring MC's
Won't sell 'em no dream, but the inspiration is free
But if they ever flip sides like Anakin
You'll sell everything includin the mannequin
They got a new bitch now you Jennifer Aniston

While listening to these lyrics in my car I immediately drove into a ditch. There is honesty in his contradictions not to mention some ludicrous beats here. I don't see Kanye's fire burning out anytime soon.

BLOC PARTY "Silent Alarm"

An electric album that doesn't step into the dreaded EMO realm, but sometimes teeters along the "jaded kid who is never going to find love" vibe. Like My Morning Jacket's album you will be deceived by the content in the songs when you listen to or read the lyrics. LUNO (off the album) will have you thinking about the friend we all have that has been lost in the shuffle.

Quote of the Year:
50 Cent has praised President Bush saying he wants to meet him.
The views contradict those of the likes of Kanye West who accused Bush of not caring about black people in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

Fifty said:

"He's incredible... A gangster. I wanna meet George Bush, just shake his hand and tell him how much of me I see in him."

Film for viewing:

Capote

We all know what a beast Philip Seymour Hoffman is, but Clifton Collins Jr. ,as convicted murderer Perry Smith, http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004286/ reminded me of one of the Lost Boy's from Peter Pan who strayed to far from the island. Hoffman is pretty much guaranteed an Oscar nomination for his portrayl of Capote, and will most likely win. He has been nominated for the Golden Globes' "Best Actor in a Drama" category. Collins hasn't garnered a golden globe nomination, but maybe the Oscars will look a little closer at his portrayl of a death row inmate who is painfully manipulated by Capote. The film details the lengths that Capote went through to write his classic "In Cold Blood", which was based on true events.

Collins' description of why he killed a family is eerily reminiscent of River Phoenix's description of how people perceived him when he was accused of stealing the milk money at his elementary school in the beautiful STAND BY ME. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092005/ Phoenix's character in that film (CHRIS) talks about how he is labeled as a bad seed because of his social and familial status. He was the first one they looked to when the money was stolen from the school and they way people looked at him as a thief ripped his self confidence to shreds.

Chris: I just wish I could go someplace where nobody knows me. [He starts crying]

This is the famous quote from the film where Phoenix opens up to Wil Wheaton's character, Gordie, when all the other kids are sleeping. Collins' character, like Chris, is considered to be classed with the crumbs of society. In the film he admits that he didn't want to kill the people, while he was trying to rob them until he looked into the eyes of the father of the family.

Perry Smith: I thought that Mr. Clutter was a very nice gentleman. I thought so right up to the moment that I cut his throat.

He looked at him like he was nothing but a mere scrub...a stain who adds nothing to society.

Moments like these make movies ooze through your bones, and that moment is why films like Capote and Stand By Me will stay with the viewer for a while. If Capote is still showing near you check it out, and go rent or buy STAND BY ME.

COCK OF THE YEAR:

Matt Lienhart :http://media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper410/stills/ysp91880.jpg

Maybe the best college quarterback in the history of time. He explained in an interview that women are knocking on his door at all hours of the night. This dude could wear an eye patch, black jeans, a Cosby sweater with a turtleneck, rub a hoagie all over his body (inducing a horrible B.O. stench) and would still have no trouble with females. Without a doubt his cock is the cock of the year.

All my lovely life I've been waitin'...hot heels anticipatin'

Yes the Eagles got blown to bits last night by a Seattle team that has been soaring of late. Yes Mike McMahon is oddly reminiscent of a male cheerleader when he is scampering around the field. Yes the the fans are practicing their boos when they take a shower in the morning instead of their singing skills, but did anyone see the unintentional product placement in the game last night? This product placement began when the Eagles put in a high school junior at quarterback, Koy Detmer. http://philadelphia.comcastsportsnet.com/images/content/eagles/koy.jpg
Koy has the symmetry of a basketball on top of a fridge when he walks out on the field. Does this guy need pop warner size shoulder pads? Not to mention his arms are about as thick as his fingers, and his first pass of the game last night hit the helmet of his own player causing an interception.
So as the game went on the unintentional product placement continued and it all became so clear that Koy Detmer was the model for the IRONMAN triathlon/watch symbol. Many of you might have owned one of the IRONMAN watches by Timex and we all know of the IRONMAN triathlon. Here are some examples: http://www.ironmanstore.com/irshskcap.html
http://www.ironmanstore.com/20trtee.html Note the M in the IRONMAN symbol? It looks like Koy Detmer when he has his pads on. He should be the official sponsor for IRONMAN instead of a third string QB. He would have to wear full pads if he were to do this, and could make some nice scratch after he retires as IRONMAN's mascot. Imagine Koy you could buy all the pairs of Wranglers you want if you took that job.


I haven't resorted back to my old movie poster fun, but I decided to bring out a classic.

WOW...doesn't this seem a little racist?

http://www.impawards.com/1981/carbon_copy.html

DEEP IN MY HEART - THAT'S WHERE THE KNOT COMES LOOSE.

The New MJ

The Sixers aquired Forward Lee Nailon http://www.nba.com/playerfile/lee_nailon/index.html
this offseason, and he comes off the bench and does some dirty work for us when the starters are resting their pulsating lungs. He averaged a team high 14 points for the New Orleans Hornets last season so it was a good pickup, but he carries a ghost with him from last season. That would be the ghost of Philly's own Marc Jackson http://www.nba.com/playerfile/marc_jackson/index.html . Why does he carry this ghost around like Slimer driving the bus in Ghostbusters you might ask? Because he feels the need to shoot the second the fucking ball touches his hands. He is shooting 50% from the field but only averages about 13 mintues per game. This is not a bad thing, but would it decline with more minutes? Marc Jackson did it because he couldn't help it. Lee is different. He has the Carlton Banks syndrome. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/de/Carlton_lg.jpg/180px-Carlton_lg.jpg
Many of you might remember the episode of the Fresh Prince when Carlton was jealous of Will because he was dominating hardwood at their Bel Air Prep school. The real reason that Will was dominating was because he was playing on Michael J Fox's team from Teen Wolf, and on 8 foot rims.
ANYWAY... back to the fateful episode when Carlton predicted the career of Lee Nailon. Bel Air prep was playing their rivals, who looked like the team from HANG TIME (a saturday morning show on NBC in the 90's that was ludicrous because they were coached by Reggie Theus and a girl was their leading scorer)http://img.epinions.com/images/opti/8a/89/kifmNetworkNBCHang_Time-resized200.jpg . The Hang Time team was a group of "John Stockons" because their shorts were revealing and they we wearing LA Gears.
The whole game Will is ball hogging and dunking on the Stockons like Pee Wee Kirkland in a prison leage game, but one person in that arena wasn't cheering. That person was Carlton. So with about 5 seconds on the clock Bel Air Prep is down by one and calls time. The play is called for Will of course. Carlton grimaces like Scottie Pippen when they told Kukoc to take the final shot.
The play begins, Will is at the top of the key with ball in hand, and low and behold it's stolen. Not by Hang Time, but by Carlton! Carlton rips the ball out of Will's hands and decides that he is going to take the final shot. Will raises his arms in astonishment as he watches what transpires. In the most unathletic fashion imaginable Carlton launches a bomb from the three point line. The ball doesn't even touch the backboard. It just bounces off the wall of the gym and dramatically falls to the floor. Uncle Phil is utterly disgusted in both of the boys as his fat head shakes above that sweater that was always hanging from his shoulders.
Lee Nailon has that Carlton look in his eye as soon as he checks in. One of these days he is going to run over to Kevin Ollie, rip the ball out of his hands and throw it against the scoreboard causing an shower of sparks to fall on the floor of the Wachovia Center. Bill Walton will be doing the game and say, "This is the SADDEST day in the NBAAAAAAA." Mo Cheeks will play Uncle Phil shaking his head in disgust as Kevin Ollie raises his arms in astonishment. I love this game.

Ms Jones sent this link:
http://www.wordpress.tokyotimes.org/?p=702

I am just a dreamer but you are just a dream

"You won't see it comin' down my eye...So I gotta make the song cry"

You are like a hurricane
There's calm in your eye.
And I'm gettin' blown away
To somewhere safer
where the feeling stays.
I want to love you but
I'm getting blown away.

-Like a Hurricane by Neil Young

These are the type of lyrics that can knock you down if you aren't holding yourself up. Neil Young's beatifully haunting voice accentuates the feelings in these words when they rattle through your ear canal. Young has never been afraid to show us his vulnerability, and this song is a perfect example. All you need to hear or read is this chorus and Young's self doubt rings true. Men can be extrememly self conscious but never want to express or admit it. Of course you have groups like the Cure and Joy Division that had boys with eyeliner crying on each others shoulders, but Neil Young is more like the sad drifter. He isn't the jaded kid from the suburbs who made it as a rock star. He's a lonely cowboy who lets his songs do all the crying.
This woman he speaks of in this song is way out of his realm. He doesn't feel that he is up to par with this lady causing him to speak to her in such a tragically romantic way. He want's to love her, but she is just too much. Maybe he feels she is out of his league and that he would have trouble trusting her. Maybe she exudes confidence that he could never connect with. She has everything and he feels he has about half of what she gracefully carries.
We have all seen this woman from across the bar. Rapidly moving our eyes up to the television when she glances in our direction. Simply window shopping knowing that we can't afford the goods behind the glass.

He talks about you in his sleep

The Moving Picture Show

Movies can move you just like any other art form, and there is always that one scene, quote, expression or song that will make the viewer vulnerable. Even if you don't necessarily like a film it can still be validated by that one special moment that makes your eyes well up a little. That one scene that makes you forget that there is a guy with a beret and one of those folding chairs with their names on it behind the camera. These moments are hard to pinpoint and vary from person to person, which makes them even more exhilirating. Here are some that have been dug up from my bottomless pit of a skull:

Fred Jung: Money isn't real, George. It doesn't matter. It only seems like it does.
Young George: Are you gonna tell Mom that?
Fred Jung: Yeah, that's gonna be a tricky one.

This is from BLOW, which I am not a huge fan of, but the father son relationship in this film gives me the chills every time I see it. George's allegiance to his father is unparalled and Fred Jung never harps on the fact that George makes his money off the vice's of others. Just the way he says it to young George will send shivers down to your toenails.

Frank White: How come you never came to see me?
Jump: Who wanted to see you in a cage, man?

This quote is from King Of New York, which is an extremely underrated early 90's urban crime film that without a doubt influenced Tarrantino and those who followed. Christopher Walken plays this Robin Hood of a drug dealer, who might be the coldest cat to ever be put on film. In this scene Frank's voice is filled with sincerity and anger and Jump pauses for a minute, and comes up with this sorry answer. Frank knows that Jump is selfish and this scene sets up the rest of the film and the relationship between the two.

Chas Tennenbaum: I've had a rough year Dad
Royal Tennenbaum: I know son...I know

This soul crushing quote is from The Royal Tennenbaums, and might be the most crucial line in the film. This is at the very end when everything comes together and Chas looses his shit right before this scene because his dog has just been run over by a drugged out Owen Wilson. Chas's relationship with his father is almost non existent up to this point, but when Ben Stiller delivers this line as his voice cracks...it's all over.

Jim: I can't remember what my parents look like.

This line is from Empire of the Sun, which is Spielberg's most underrated film. This movie is about a boy who is a war prisoner, but lifts the spirits of the other detainees with this undying optimism. He recites this line at a breaking point when he realizes what his life has become. He isn't going to be back home eating dinner with Mom and Dad anytime soon, and that fact hits him square in the jaw. Christian Bale does a wonderful job portraying a child's percpetion of war. (In this film it is WWII)

Jim Kurring: I lost my gun today when I left you and I'm the laughingstock of a lot of people. I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know and it's on my mind. And it makes me look like a fool. And I feel like a fool. And you asked that we should say things - that we should say what we're thinking and not lie about things. Well, I can tell you that, this, that I lost my gun today - and I am not a good cop. And I'm looked down at. And I know that. And I'm scared that once you find that out you may not like me.

John C Reilly pretty much dominates every role that is given to him, and he puts it all together with this quote from Magnolia. He plays the role of the good cop in this movie so well that his innocence starts to inject itself into your own mind. He is the good samaritan by default and his impeccable honesty and humanity are on display in this wonderful scene.

There are many many more, and when I think of them I will post them to the 3 people who actually look at this thing.

There is no modern romance

Halloween is an amazing holiday because people feel if they aren't dressed as themselves then there is no reason to act like themselves. If a study was done on how many "non-dancers" dance when they are out for halloween the number of "non-dancers" would greatly diminish. The dance floor at a bar or party on Halloween is reminiscent to the graveyard scene in the Thriller video. As soon as the music starts all the zombies get a little kick in their step. The undead start to shake and jiggle and when they hear Michael's voice and it's all over. The night has begun and you are going to stay on that dance floor, and try to get the chick who is dressed up as Tinkerbell to bob for apples with you late night. Why not dance if you are dressed like a ghoul?
If you have a costume that is original and somewhat subtle you have done the holiday some service. All the girls who wear the black cat ears on their heads...you need a new costume. Leave that costume to the 3rd grade English teacher to wear to school during the holiday season. The Hooters outfit on girls and guys needs to go as well. The mullet wig, cut off jeans, and Gwar t-shirts need to be put to rest. Why not start wearing tight BLACK jeans and one of those shirts that changes colors when you touch it. Now that is a good white trash/sweaty dude outfit. Come one people come up with something new!

Here are some Haloween suggestions for next year for you fools:

JOHN MCLANE FROM DIE HARD: all you need is a wife beater, khakis, scruffy beard and no shoes. If you really want to be creative tape a gun to your back.

SUPERMAN: Classic costume that isn't used as much as it should be. You get to wear a cape too. Too many Batmans this year.

DAVID BOWIE: Another costume that is easy...just wear ALOT of makeup...especially eyeliner. You can even wear a shirt and tie, and still pull off Bowie.

STEVE ZISSOU (or any member of team Zissou): This is what I wore this year. It's easy because all you need is blue pants and a shirt and a red skull cap. Not many people knew who I was but those who did loved it.

LAWRENCE TAYLOR: Just need a jersey and some football pants. This guy is such a character to begin with that once you tell people you are the former hooker ordering deviant you will garner instant respect. Speaking of crackheads....

TYRONE BIGGUMS: This is another easy costume. Just wear dirty smelly clothes and eat a powdered doughnut. You will look like Chapelle in no time and will be the hit of the party.

GHOSTBUSTERS: You need to put ALOT of work into this costume, but if you pull it off you are a legend.

RON BURGUNDY: Grow a moustache and wear a turtleneck and sportcoat...that simple.

NINO BROWN: Just dress in some fly 80's gear...silk shirt, double breasted sportcoat, black pants and sunglasses. You can actually get three cotumes from New Jack City. Pooky could be done if you wear and american flag button up shit and look like a crackhead. G-Money could be done just like Nino, BUT distinguish yourself with a gunshot wound. Remember Nino Brown killed his own brother. Right before he shot him he proclaims, "AM I MY BROTHERS KEEPER!" Great overacting in that scene.

There you go. Now no one will know who you are next October 31st.

Just need to admit that I want sugar in my tea

The People in your Television

Question to all of you out there who loved staying home from school and watching the Price is Right. There was always a bold line between good and bad TV when you were home from school as a kid. You could flip through the channels and be stuck in the horrible foggy world of the soap opera OR you could hit an amazing rerun of a show that they just don't make anymore. For instance have you ever seen the episode of What's Happening when the Doobie Brothers made a guest appearance? ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074071/ ...I hope most of you have seen this wonderful show, but I put the link just in case you are a complete clown) The Doobie Brothers are putting on a concert in the neighborhood so of course they befriend Rerun when they come to town. Honestly who wouldn't befriend the guy? He wears colorful Jeff Caps and suspenders. So Rerun, Raj, and Dwayne decide to go catch the show, which was oddly being held in something that looked like an elementary school auditorium.
The show begins and of course Rerun is practically snapping the tiles off the floor with his dance moves. The members of Doobie Brothers are even admiring Rerun as they play under their Cousin It hairstyles. The band members glance over a few times to give Rerun and smile and head nod. A "silent shout out" if you will.
Then those shot outs turn to looks of astonishment as they discover that Rerun was hiding something beneath those suspender supported trousers. As Rerun begins to do a one-footed 360 spin a clunky piece of equipment drops out of his pants. Rerun was trying to illegally record the show!!!! He wasn't being very conspicuos either. In fact the recorder he was trying to hide wasn't a little hand held tape recorder...it was a HUGE panasonic tape deck that was about as big as his left thigh. Rerun had no excuse and they band was so upset that they stopped playing. Raj with a disgusted look on his face questions Rerun: "Don't you know that this is illegal?" The innocent looking Rerun had NO idea and is shocked that everyone is so upset. Then they all decide, band as well, to listen to what he has taped so far. Turns out Rerun forgot to push the Record button and all they could hear was him eating some popcorn before the show. (Note: this was an actual episode I saw on a sick day...it wasn't the cough syrup I was taking either)
Then everyone is elated that Rerun didn't illegally record anything and the Doobie Brothers proceed with their show. Everything is well in the land of television. Rerun was ahead of his time...not just in fashion sense, but in the music piracy world as well. He could have put that show on the Net and got about a million downloads. Thank god he wasn't taping a Metallica show...Lars Ulrich would have jumped off the stage and stabbed him.
Watch this show if you have a chance. They had some of the most obscure plot lines in television history. Rerun even joined a food worshipping cult in one episode! Stay home from work/school one of these days and enjoy the television.

Download "Jolene" by the White Stripes. It is a Dolly Parton cover, and it will rip your soul to pieces.

A hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore

He's the BOSS now

This past weekend I decided to travel to D.C. to see some old friends from college because it was homecoming weekend. I knew that I would run into random people and have painful conversations with them about what I am doing with my life these days. I should just make index cards with my job, living situation, and love life all mapped out so I could just hand them to the dude from my Anthropology class who I haven't seen since my last Anthropology class. Many of these annoying encounters became part of this weekend but nothing prepared me for the person I bumped into when I arrived in D.C. via train on Saturday afternoon. As I was leaving Union Staion, which is a beautiful building, I saw a sharp looking man in a red NYPD shirt. I was entering my buddy's Jeep and I noticed that this man in front of us looked wildy familiar. It was the star of The Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0142306/) who is none other than: TONY DANZA! So as soon as I notice that it is him I starting yelling in an obnoxiously stereotypical New York/Guido manner. I just constantly shout : TONY....TONNNNAAAAA.....TOOOONNNEEEEEEEE. You can imagine how it sounded. So he is about 5 feet away and I am just hanging out the window screaming at the star of Angels in the Outfield. He starts looking pretty peeved and puts his head down like he just lost the role of himself in the Who's the Boss movie to Freddie Prinze Jr. Then we literally pull up next to his car, and I am almost blue from screaming and he finally looks up and says, "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!" Mind you he is saying this in a stereotypical New York/Guido accent. He then proclaims, "I AM WITH MY WIFE!" Then Tony decides to send a shockwave through the District with one lewd hand gesture. He put his hand in front of his hairy midsection and gave me the jerk off hand gesture! You know the imaginary jerk off move that people do when they are talking to or see someone who they think is a complete jerk off. He just stood there made a vile face and did the"jerk off" right in broad daylight in the District of Columbia. Tony fuckin' Danza just flat out blasted me to pieces with the "jerk off" hand gesture. I could have hopped on a train and went right back to Philly and I still would have considered it an amazing weekend.

HYBRID MOMENTS

I saw another fake celebrity this weekend as well. I was sitting on a bar stool Friday night when another familiar face walked up to the bar that almost knocked me down. It was a "fake" version of the lead singer of Nickelback, which might be the most deplorable band ever.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38103000/jpg/_38103999_nickelback300.jpg This version was much shorter and pudgier, but nonetheless HILARIOUS. So as I turn to my friend to proclaim this great find he turns to me and says, "COREY FELDMAN." More like a Burbs era Corey Feldman, but it was a great call. Being able to watching Feldman/Nickelback gag after taking shots of Jagermeister all night made my evening. So on Friday I saw a hybrid Feldman/Nicelback and on Saturday I was silently called a jerk off by Tony Danza.

Got a new bitch now you're Jennifer Aniston

Flip Flops and black Nike socks...

David Stern is proposing a dress code for NBA players when they are on court, and traveling to and from arena's. I have always had respect for David Stern, but this is taking it just one drop step to far. He handled the Pacers-Pistons brawl better than I ever imagined. That was one of the saddest nights in the history of sports, and he made sure we all remembered that. Maybe that incident made him feel more like the image he was worked himself into: The High School Disciplinarian. First the age limit, and now this? The age limit doesn't bode well for me based one one simple fact. When you are 18 you are considered an adult. If you can vote and go to war then you certainly have to option of taking a chance at a lucrative life long dream that could benefit you and your family. Michelle Wie, who is a 15 year old golf prodigy has just turned pro and signed deals with Nike? Why her and not a high school basketball stud? It just doesn't make sense to me.
Now the guy is going to tell players how to dress? This reminds me of my high school (Prep School) days when I would get detention for not having my shirt tucked in. There was always the kid who forgot to bring his sport coat to class. There was always the kid who wore his Air Max's instead of his hush puppies. There was always the kid who had too much facial hair, and those guys were sent to the Dean's office to shave it off! Is David Stern the NBA version of a high school Dean of Students at a school with a dress code? He needs to relax, and revel in the fact that he got the age limit implemented. That alone is astonishing.
I can see a young Allen Iverson walking down the hall in my high school with his shirt untucked and rocking a pair of all black Jordan IV's. Then David Stern would come out of the office and hand him a JUG slip.

You've got to tolerate all those people that you hate

Did you notice that everything looks like an Ipod now? That sleak streamlined design is catching on everywhere. Cars are even beginning to look like Ipods: http://abcnews.go.com/Business/wireStory?id=1172068 .
Like cell phones Ipods can be compared to luxury cars. They multiply and mutate like mogwai's after a midnight snack. Every bell and whistle is upstaged by someting like an ICEE machine in your glove box that serves atkins friendly ICEE's for drivers and passengers alike. The rapid growth of these gadgets or "bling" if you must is astounding. They have become extensions of ourselves and certainly our fashion sense. The boom of these hand held music makers is similar to the growth of the walkman. When the walkman first came out they were ridiculousy overpriced, but came in so many different syles and colors:
http://www.inmplc.com/annualreport97/images/walkman.jpg
http://www.tekniskamuseet.se/upload/Samlingar/walkman.jpg
http://molly.open.ac.uk/pictures/2004/Nov/walkman1.jpg
http://www.audiogold.co.uk/catalogue/images/BIG_Sony%20Walkman%20WM%202.JPG
The one thing about the Ipod that is striking is the fact that it is dominating the market not only because of it's capabilites, but because of it's look. Sure there are different colors and sizes, but when stripped down they are all the same. The window with that beautiful light. The rectangular frame, and the wheel...ohh the wheel. There wouldn't be a wheel if it weren't for the mouse that you are scrolling right now. It's the same concept, and the evolution of technology becomes Darwinian. Think of your ipod as an '05 SUV, and your Walkman as a Cruk...half car..half truck :http://www.angelfire.com/falcon/steph1/images/81brat.jpg . In case you were wondering that is a 1981 Subaru Brat. The concept of an SUV, but years away from perfection. It's all relative folks...pretty soon you're going to be walking down the street and not even flinch when you see this:
http://permanent.nouvelobs.com/cgi/edition/aff_photo?cle=20050327.OBS2324&offset=3
Even the ipod wannabee's look like ipods, and those with ipod wannabees usually hide their fake ipods because they are ashamed. Like when Reebok came out with the Pump everyone was rocking them to gym class, but Nike tried to get in the inflatable shoe gimmick game too. They made a shoe that you needed to pump with an actual hand held pump! The mini basketball/tennis ball pump was an appealing design like your ipod. The Nike "pump" like all the fake Ipods have a bland clunky design that people just didn't pick up on.

http://www.pickyourshoes.com/images/shoes/pump_omni_red_wheat_10.jpg --THE IPOD

http://www.soccershopusa.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/page_99_44_small.jpg
--- ANY OTHER MUSIC PLAYER

Apple revived the world of the portable music player, and they did it with style. Everyone has one and even though they all look the same we feel as though we are adding a flower to our lapel everytime we strut along the sidewalk with those skinny white wires that could be connected to our souls.

I got my MOJO back baby OH BEHAVE

T-Bone's Lament
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Gator wranglers from Florida have abruptly quit their search for the city's elusive 7-foot alligator, livid that they were publicly ridiculed by a brash Hurricane Katrina evacuee that a councilwoman brought in to help nab the reptile.
Thomas "T-Bone" Quinn described as "retarded" the tactics employed by the wranglers from Orlando-based Gatorland. He made his comments on Saturday after being escorted by Councilwoman Janice Hahn to Ken Molloy Harbor Regional Park in South Los Angeles, where the gator dubbed Reggie has inhabited a lake for at least two months.
"I am not going to allow Gatorland to be referred to as 'retarded,' " Gatorland team leader Ted Williams said Monday. "I will not allow some swamp rat to walk into a situation and make comments about Gatorland and this team. We conducted ourselves in a professional manner."
Williams also accused Hahn of playing him "like a little puppet" for political purposes.
Hahn said Monday that she was surprised by Williams' reaction. Quinn, a 47-year-old Gulf Coast pipe fitter, apologized for his remarks and all of the men seemed to be getting along by Saturday night, she said.
"I thought it wouldn't hurt to have somebody else's advice," said Hahn, who praised Gatorland's efforts. "The only agenda I have is catching Reggie and I thought this was an opportunity to give this evacuee something to do."
City officials said they needed to do a background check and decide whether he could work without liability insurance. They also were worried by Quinn's graphic descriptions of how he usually stabs alligators in the brain to kill them.

WOW. Right off the bat I am not entirely shocked that the gentleman who stabs the alligators in the brain to kill them prefers to be called "T-Bone." Second...If there was a 7 foot alligator running loose in my town I wouldn't call him Reggie. I would call him..."THE FUCKING 7 FOOT ALLIGATOR THAT IS RUNNING LOOSE IN MY TOWN." Or maybe I would call him Mortimer...one or the other. Another thing that got me was the fact that the councilwoman thought sending a Katrina evacuee into a swamp to help catch an alligator was a good idea. How did she explain this to the evacuee? "Listen we know that everything you owned is now GONE...sooo we are going to send you into the swamp to help catch an alligator with good ol' T-Bone." She felt that she was giving them something to do? This world is filled with people making great decisions.

SOME BATHROOM ADVICE

The idea of the sensor flush toilet is wonderful because we don't have to touch the handle when we're all done. You do your business, stand up, put your trousers back in place, and you're good to go. No need to touch that cold metal handle that is covered with germs that were drawn out in our elementary school science textbooks. The only problem is it can work too hard sometimes.
For instance when you want to put that paper protector on the toilet seat you can run into some trouble. The sensor on the toilet becomes confused by the movement and will sometimes steal your butt nest. You gently place the sheet on the seat when you go to make the move to sit down...BAM...you paper cover is gone. You shrug it off and try to place the paper again and then FLOOOSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH. You're immediately 0-2 and a bit discouraged. This is when you get into stealth mode. You need to trick that red blinking light into thinking that no one is in the stall. Make that automatic flush not so automatic. The best move is to come in from the side. This move is much easier in the handicap stall because the amount of room in those things. Pull the paper from the dispenser and quickly move to the side...place the paper on the seat, and BOOM make the move, sit down, and you are incredbily happy.
It also helps the other bathroom patrons perception of you. You don't want them think that you are dropping such a tremendous bomb that you need to flush 3 times in a 30 second span. So all you have to do is become a bit more crafty. Remember always come in from the side.

It's a celebration BITCHES!

The phenomenon that is the NFL has started, and we are all caught up in this testosterone driven soap opera. Even if you don't get involved you can't escape it. It's "Generation X's" pastime. It's the most colorful, exciting, and story driven sport in the United States. No sport is edited as well as the NFL other than FOX's playoff baseball coverage. 1/3 of the city of Philadelphia was watching the Monday Night Game last week, which is an astounding number for one of the biggest cities in the U.S.
I was watching it in a crowded bar that was serving dollar drafts. Dollar drafts can make any beer delicious, and they were especially scrumptious for some meatheads standing behind me. They were the typical fans who don't know much about the game so they compensate by screaming out obscenities when the littlest of mistakes is made. For instance Donovan McNabb took a hit because the offensive was sleeping and Donovan had no choice but to take the sack. The steakhead behind me just screams out, "DONOVAN YOU PUSSSSSYYYYYYYYY!!!!!" These creeps were screaming all night long until one of them said something that got me thinking. One of the meatsticks claims, "YO...what's the name of that football player who turned out to be a FAG!" The other porterhouses around him giggled even though I bet they only heard the word FAG. I don't remember the guy's name either, but I know he played for the Packers (no pun intended). So I am going to look at a list of NFL players who could be gay. I am going solely on the fact that they have a name that could be considered gay. Confused? Just look at some of the names that I found.

All Suspiciously Gay Name Team

KRIS MANGUM, Tight End, Carolina Panthers
MAN-GUM!....thank god this dude was on the football team and not the swimming team.

CHAD JOHNSON, WR, Bengals
One of my favorite recievers, but CHAD and JOHNSON together? Might as well be a gay porn star...or Chad Lowe.

MITCH BERGER, P, Saints
Just the name MITCH...Reminds me of MITCH CUMSTEIN from Caddyshack

LORENZO NEAL, FB, Chargers
Clears the way for one of the best RB's in the league, but just say LORENZO with a lisp. See what I mean?

TONY ROMO, QB, Cowboys
This is a stretch but ROMO rhymes with HOMO.

LeCHARLES BENTLEY, C, Saints
Put an Le in front of any name and it is going to sound gay.

ELLIOT SILVERS, T, Rams
Just sounds like the real name of a drag queen...when he is out at night in drag he is called STERLING SILVER!

DAMIEN WOODY, G, Lions
Do I need to explain?

RYAN DIEPENBROCK, LB, Bills
Any name that starts with something that sounds like DEEP IN is a lock.

CHRIS COOPER, DE, 49ers
Just because he has the same name of the actor who played the psycho secretly gay father in American Beauty.

FERNANDO BRYANT, DB, Lions
Like Lorenzo just say FERNANDO out loud with a lisp.

There you have it...the suspiciosly gay name squad 2005-06

Try to get your hands on the free CD they give out at the Gap with about 9 cover songs. Joss Stone beautifully covers God Only Knows by the Beach Boys, but don't listen to the next song because Jason Mraz just convinced Damien Marley to put out a hit on him by covering One Love by Bob Marley.

PEACE

Now she walks through her sunken dream

Singer Sheryl Crow and cycling legend Lance Armstrong are engaged. The couple made the announcement on Monday following Armstrong's proposal during a visit to Sun Valley, Idaho, last week. No date has been set for the wedding, but a spokesperson for the seven-time Tour De France champion hinted the happy couple are considering exchanging vows next spring. Armstrong and Crow met in 2003 - Armstrong has three children from his first marriage but it will be Crow's first time down the aisle.

Lance Armstrong has become and American icon. He broke the Tour De France win record. He got a lot of white kids in polo's to start wearing those LIVESTRONG's. He defeated cancer. He is being "witch-hunted" by the French who are alledging that he used illegal substances to better his performance a couple years back. Bike racing would be nothing in this country if it weren't for Lance Armstrong. I know there are many of you out there with your cycling socks http://www.bikemaine.org/photos/bcm_socks.jpg pulled above your ankles shaking your heads as you read on, but there is no escaping it. Cycling and or Biking will never achieve an elite status in this country. It's monotonous and I don't know many people who have the Outdoor Life Network. It's like cross country or intramural ping pong. They have skills but can they leap over someone's head to catch a ball? That's what we want to see. The last athlete to wear tight or short shorts that we were remotely interested in was John Stockton, and he never won a championship.
My problem with Armstong here is his marrying of Sheryl Crow. His defeating cancer propelled him into superstardom. The press conference announcing his sickness could give anyone chicken-skin, and he gave people hope. He vowed to beat the cancer in front of us all, and came back to win multiple Tour De France's.
Like the rest of the country was Sheryl Crow a fan of Cycling before Lance beat the big C? Did she have the Outdoor Life Network? Did she WEAR THOSE SOCKS! http://www.geminex.com.au/x-socks/BikingSilver1.jpg . I don't think so. He defeated cancer and returned to the sport to become our "boy." We embraced him, and I am taking NOTHING away from the fact that he beat cancer, but did Ms. Crow ever look in the Sports/Cycling section in USA TODAY? So Lance Armstrong becomes even larger than life and leaves his wife. This doesn't just happen to famous people. Dudes in suits with big money are packing up their Benzinos right now as their wife cries looking at them through the window.
The woman who was by his side all night in the hospital when he was undergoing treatment. The woman who sat with the kids all night when their father was in the hospital. This woman became an afterthought due to the media onslaught. So you become a superstar and you need to be with a superstar? Not that Sheryl Crow is banging out the hits these days unless you liked her deplorable duet with the even more deplorable Kid Rock a couple years back. She is still quite a big star. Maybe if Crow didn't jump to his side right away he could have landed Zellwegger. She went out with the dirty mustached Jack White because he was an eccentric rock star with and eclectic sound. Crow wanted Armstrong because he was a superstar athlete who defied all odds.
To Lance's ex-wife...I am sorry, but it's all our faults. We love stories of the famous overcoming major obstacles. Christopher Reeve became dear to our hearts when he fell off that horse. I felt horrible for the guy too, but remember at one point in his life he was Superman. What about the 5 year old kid in the wheel chair who will never walk?

Shoot for the moon...if you miss you're still amongst the stars

BERLIN (Reuters) - German police have arrested a 31-year-old man they caught vandalizing two cars by scratching large penis-shaped gouges into them and said they believe he may be responsible for similar markings found on hundreds of others.
A police spokesman in the western city of Bochum said on Friday the man was under investigation for vandalizing around 330 vehicles in the region over the last few months, most of which had also been marked with the same penis insignia.
The total damage may near 350,000 euros, he said.
"Nearly all of them had this special motif," the police spokesman said. "He said he did it because he was mentally disturbed. I don't know if that was just a pretext."
The suspect is now undergoing psychiatric treatment, he added.

German police officer: VHAT IS DEEEES? A PENEEES?
Genius who marked up cars: VHAT DO YOU MEAN? IT'S A BRATVURST!

That is exactly how German people talk...not in German, but with stereotypical German accents. Love the use of the phrase: "penis insignia."


POSTER TIZIME FOR THAT ASSSSSSSSSS!!!!

Wonder what part of this poster that they want to viewers to focus in on:
http://www.impawards.com/2005/dirty_love.html

MASTERPIECE:
http://www.impawards.com/1983/krull_ver3.html

Why can't they make movies like this anymore?
http://www.impawards.com/1983/metalstorm_ver1.html

BRONSON...WILL WHOOP YOUR CANDY ASS!!!!
http://www.impawards.com/1983/ten_to_midnight_ver2.html

Speaking of candy asses I was called one once, and it's a very underrated diss. I was driving in Philly with a friend of mine and we were closing in on a biker (bicycle not harley). I was sitting in the passenger seat and my friend told me thatI would never slap the guy in the ass as we drove by. I couldn't take the heat so as we are drving past him I am out the window and BAM! Maybe the weirdest feeling in the world. My hand ripped through the sweaty lycra biker shorts of a complete stranger. Well of course we come up to a red light and have to stop. I look in the side mirror and this biker might have had the best sad face I have ever seen. I took something from him...I stole a piece of him that day. When we stop the car this guy FLIPS THE FUCK OUT. He pulls up to the window and just starts with, "YOU FUCKING MAMA'S BOY! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! Then he blasted me to pieces...."GODDAMN CANDY ASS!" Just the way it rolled off his tongue destroyed me. GODAMN and CANDY ASS work so well together. Maybe it's consonance?

See the lonely boy out on the weekend

I want to....

Go that place where all the boys went in the movie Pinnochio where they got real wild and smoked cigars and got liquored up. That place was amazing. If I remember correctly there was gambling involved and just utter defiance for everything and anything. That's the type of vacation I need to take. They eventually started transformed into donkeys and starting crying for their mothers.

I want you to read these lyrics from Cinnamon Girl by the Neil Young...THE Neil Young:

"Cinnamon Girl"
I wanna live with a cinnamon girl
I could be happythe rest of my life
With a cinnamon girl.
A dreamer of pictures
I run in the night
You see us together,
chasing the moonlight,
My cinnamon girl.
Ten silver saxes,
a bass with a bowT
he drummer relaxesand waits between shows
For his cinnamon girl.
A dreamer of pictures
I run in the night
You see us together,
chasing the moonlight,
My cinnamon girl.
Pa sent me money now
I'm gonna make it somehow
I need another chance
You see your baby loves to dance
Yeah...yeah...yeah.